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Independence Day 1999 ---advertisement
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Rutledge's Fastest Four Year Old;
Morbecks Drift to 3rd Place!
...... It’s time to throw out the reams and reams of stationery we had printed last year emblazoned with the "Rutledge’s Fastest Three Year Old" return address. The Fastest Three Year Old of sometime back in the last century is now officially the Fastest Four Year Old of the New Millennium. Despite a late start out of the blocks (okay, there aren’t really any blocks) Brad handily beat a field of 12 other children to win the grueling "15 yard dash for four year olds" event held annually at The Triangle. In other Independence Day 2000 news, the magnificent Morbeck family float only managed to cop Third Place in the annual Rutledge 4th of July Parade.
......What’s that stench that permeates my keyboard? Is it Sour Grapes? Our Float this year certainly had all the elements needed to Win, Win, Win: A Patriotic theme, Ingenuity, A trio of Cute little boys waving Cute little hands.
......This year we chose to salute a great chapter of our Nation’s history, the 1804 "Lewis and Clark" expedition, known to PBS viewers and various chain bookstore rats as "The Voyage of Discovery". Last Christmas our main connection Santa Claus left a rather seaworthy 15 foot canoe filled with presents under our beautiful "blue lights only" Yuletide Evergreen.
......Most of the toys left in said vessel are long since lost, broken, or out of batteries. Yet the Season of Usefulness for the canoe has most definitely arrived! During the past month we’ve set sail (actually we paddled) on two major lakes in our Region (Hibernia and Absegami), and Brad even managed to use it as a offshore platform to do a little bass fishing.
......For celebratory street use we lashed a few wheels onto it and were ready to roll. Only the finest quality Plastic American flags were taped inside the perimeter of the float (they call those gunwales, boat boy!) Our very macho children were spared the humiliation of having to see their father wearing a dress when Sally finally acquiesced and agreed to portray Lewis & Clark’s Shosone guide Sacajawea.
......Benjamin Morbeck was cast in the role of William (not George Rogers, as I thought) Clark and Gabriel Morbeck turned in a rather convincing performance as Meriwether Lewis. Both sported hard to find "coonskin caps" - probably historically inaccurate but still incredibly cute. Yet-to-be crowned "Rutledge’s Fastest Four Year Old" marched in the Parade as the Third President of the United States, the man who commissioned the journey and sent Lewis and Clark on their way. An authentic tri-cornered hat sitting atop a stunningly attractive reddish brown wig made it seem as if Monticello should be located somewhere around the corner on Unity Terrace.
......Sporting a stylish "Moosehead Lake" hat (representing the indigenous wildlife creatures Lewis and Clark met along the way), I provided the float’s propulsion by means of sturdy legs and a very strong rope.
......Custom made necklaces consisting of blue ribbon and newly minted "Sacajawea" gold dollars adorned all of our costumes; Brad handed out specially commissioned "Rutledge Independence Day 2000" commemorative coins with old T.J.’s likeness on one side and "R2K"on the flip. Coincidentally, the street value of these numismatic masterpieces could safely be estimated as approximately $.05 (US).
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