OREO FLOAT CHRONOLOGY

Billy Penn

• 1681- William Penn is granted land grant for tract of land known as Penn’s Woods.
• 1888- Borough of Rutledge is founded
• 1970’s- Penn DOT decides NOT to obliterate Rutledge Avenue (and most of Rutledge) by constructing the “Blue Route” (I-476) over it.
• 1988 - Rutledge celebrates its Centennial; One of the official sponsors of the special commemorative booklet published: OREO!
• spring 1998- a rapidly burgeoning Morbeck Family seeks escape from a crowded two bedroom apartment in the “big city”. While searching for available property for sale in Rutledge a solitary sentry stands (sits) on the corner of Rutledge Avenue and Unity Terrace.
• June 1998- Morbecks Move to Rutledge! (28 President Avenue)
• Summer 1998- First regular Morbeck route to the Rutledge Playground is established.
• Fall 1998- We notice gaily colored balloons festooning about the residence at 100 Rutledge Avenue. We start to refer to the black and white cat who lords over the yard as “The Birthday Kitty”
• Winter 1998- We learn that our hero’s name is.........OREO!

Morbeck.com file photo (1999)

• Christmas 1999 - We send our first Christmas card to Oreo. He attempts to open it with his claw.
• Spring 2000- The term “The Oreo Trail” is coined to describe our normal route to the playground.
• Nov. 2000- In the closest Presidential Election ever a “Voting Scandal” rocks Rutledge. Read about at Electoreo.
• 2001- In what should have been a rather harmless conversation with a woman named Beth (The Seniors across-the-street neighbor), she casually announces, “OUR family are OREO’s biggest fans!”
• 2001- I return home and relate the content of this baseless claim to Sally. She vows to avenge our honor and firmly establish the Morbeck Family’s rightful place as “Oreo’s biggest fans”.
• Spring 2002: We decide to honor OREO Senior in this year’s upcoming July 4th Parade. Known “loud mouths” Ben & Gabe are sworn to secrecy.
• Spring 2002: My sister Kay suggests we have a float and that we throw real “Oreo” cookies from it to the crowd.
• April 30, 2002:Oreo Cookies are on sale (“two for one”) at the Ridley Acme. I buy a bunch and leave them in the trunk of the car for months..
• May 25, 2002: I unbolt the electric miter saw from an old cabinet which was salvaged from our front room several years ago. My intention is to turn it into the framework of a “Trojan” cat.
• June 1, 2002: 4 legs are attached, made of sturdy 4” by 4” decking stock. They emanate from the main body at chosen angle of 15 degrees. I was going to make them 48” long but I soon realized that I would need a ladder to get the kids up in it.
• June 2, 2002: Wheels and a lower framework are added. An investigation is currently being launched to determine WHAT sinister forces might have caused the failure of our right front caster on Parade Day.
• June 8, 2002: Oreo’s “sides” are cut and installed. I’m not much of an artist, which results in two rather lopsided ovals.
• June 9, 2002: Oreo’s tail is fitted lovingly onto his massive body. An impressive 10 feet in length, we use a piece of 6” flexible corrugated drainage hose.
• June 22, 2002: I purchase a piece of 4’ by 4’ plywood to create Oreo’s face. I manage to cut “eyes” through it with the intent of adding two scraps of yellow theatrical gel later.
• June 28, 2002: Ray Royce generously allows me to comb SLS’s large library of carpet scraps. I intend to use a nice “shag” but apparently the corporate meetings we do don’t really call for such substances. I settle on a nice short hair pile.
• June 29, 2002: I spend the day stapling and painting carpet and cutting two large removable “ears” for our float They must be removable because otherwise the float stands much too tall to fit in our 19th century garage. As I’m installing the carpet my small boys ask me, “Will we be using REAL cat fur to cover our float?” That’s right, boys: the 28 President “kitten mill” we’ve been running all these years is out behind the garage. Who do you think I am, Cruella D’evil?

• June 30,2002: Our “Oreo” is looking real enough that there is much consternation among the smaller set that the “real Oreo” might be scared of it. There is also a good deal of speculation that “he might think it’s another cat”. We take a break and attend the Phillies/Orioles game in Baltimore. The crowd starts singing “O-REE-OL, OH-OH” in “Wizard of Oz” type fashion. Hey, I just MAY have an idea!
• July 3, 2002: I install the final finishing touches on our behemoth, an act which truly signals my final (?) “descent into madness”. I meticulously glue scores of now stale Oreo cookies (see Ridley Acme item above) onto the sides of our float: proudly spelling out O-R-E-O, of course.
• July 4, 2002: Sabotage! Those ungrateful gray squirrels who live up under our eaves aren’t content with all of the yummy buttered toast scraps I throw them each morning. They want dessert as well! The Sullivan boys catch them EATING Oreos off the side of the float. A few emergency repairs are effectuated but extensive damage HAS been done.

• July 4, 2002: We don our costumes and push our float over to receive a Pre-Parade Blessing from “the King” (and I DON’T mean Elvis) himself.
• AFTERMATH: The squirrels have a “field day” eating all of the cookies off the side of the float. I find the end result very reminiscent of the final credit sequences of the old “Bullwinkle Show” of my youth. “Directed by Jay Ward” is removed in a hail of bullets, much like “OREO” has been removed by a hail of gnashing rodent teeth.