2004 MORBECK PARADE ENTRY AIMS AT NEW, MUCH EASIER TARGET:

LOSING!

        Sometime during my misspent period of collegiate extended adolescence I read a short story by Philip K. Dick detailing the trials and tribulations of a society who outsourced all of their Holiday gift production to another small planet whom they held in slavery. Every holiday season a Board of Examiners analyzed every new product sent over from the enslaved planet, meticulously testing each one to make sure they held no secret weapons of mass destruction.  Ninety per cent of the story centers around a devilishly clever toy fortress which magically swallows up tiny little soldiers as they repeatedly attack it. In the midst of their obsession with finding out the ulterior motive of the Fortress the examiners carelessly rubber stamp a seemingly harmless board game (neglecting to read the rules in the process).

    The story's denouement occurs when it is revealed that the seemingly harmless board game's primary  purpose is to teach the children of the Oppressor Planet the joys of LOSING, no doubt as a prelude to a violent uprising by the Captive Planet. Which brings us to our contribution to the 2004 Rutledge Independence Day Parade!

Morbeck Family Presents

"Cavalcade of Losers"

2004

    Just as most "How-To" books about writing fiction urge would-be novelists to "write about what you know" a tremendous revelation concerning my annual battle with the Rutledge Independence Day Parade visited the dusty reaches of my brain sometime in Mid June. For five long years I've been creeping dangerously close to insanity in my zeal to win the coveted First Prize (3$!) in the Parade's "Family Float" Division.  During this period I have repeatedly subjugated my wonderful family to a tiresome treadmill of wearing all sorts of silly costumes, bringing them shame and humiliation in the process. In my paranoia I honestly began to believe that somehow the JUDGES were at fault, not recognizing the true measure of my Creative Genius. But this year the TRUTH HAS SET ME FREE!

    Why try so hard to win when I can so much more easily set my sights on LOSING?  EUREKA! Free At Last, Free at Last, Thank God Almighty I'm Free at Last!

MOST REVEALING MOMENT OF THE ENTIRE ESCAPADE:

            I got a REALLY late start this year due to a very busy June.  In truth I didn't actually begin construction of the float until July 2nd, rather dangerous considering that this year's Parade is being held on Saturday, July 3 (so as not to conflict with Church, I guess).  Ellen and Jim Williamson were kind enough to loan me some beautiful Ivy covered horse shoes (and a sturdy pedestal for Smarty!) but it took me a while to decide how to get the maximum losing impact out of the elements at hand. While in the backyard I was met by an rather inquisitive young Gabe E. Mouse. We  now provide a written transcript of a very telling verbal exchange:

GABE:    "What are you doing, Dad?"

ME:  "I'm working on the float, Gabe!"

GABE: "That's funny! It LOOKS like you're just wandering around!"

    ALAS, my children have FINALLY found me out! He's hardly the first person in my long working career to make EXACTLY that same observation!

Ben and Gabe Morbeck conducting construction inspection, 7/2/04

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